Daria Blade: Book One
by Shadow Pumpkinhead
Summary: The first book in a trilogy set in an alternate Daria universe, where Daria is trained to be a assassin to avenge the death of her family at the hand of the mysterious Insidious.


DARIA BLADE

By

Patrick Moore

WARNING: This fic will feature violence, language, mild nudity, and sarcasm. You have been warned.

CHAPTER 1

The Sword and the Cynical

"Damn," Daria Morgendoffer knew she should have known better than to mess with this asshole known as Axel, as the young redheaded man swiped the blood of Daria off his sword.

"Is that all the Elders can send me to fight…a child?" Axel spit at Daria. "I was expecting someone competent, not a nerd girl like you. Go back to your little Riverdale town, Girl."

"You're going to pay for what you and your goons did to my family, you son of a bitch," Daria got up, as she rose using her sword. She had a glare at Axel, as she roared at him, charging at him at full speed.

# # #

THE PAST: LAWNDALE-A FEW MONTHS AGO

It was on a sunny Saturday morning at the Morgendorffer residence, as the family was greeted by Amy Barksdale, Daria and Quinn's aunt, and Helen's sister. She just got back from Japan, for doing who knows what job she does. She brought gifts for her relatives.

"Amy, you don't have to give us presents," said Helen to her little sister, as Amy gave Quinn a kimono. "Jake, say something?"

"Are these the actual uncut episodes of Sailor Moon, without all the DIC crap?" Jake asked Amy, who gave him a DVD box set of the anime known as Sailor Moon.

"JAKE!" Helen shouted at her idiot husband.

"Helen, calm down," said Amy. "I didn't forget you and Daria."

Amy took out something long wrapped in a Japanese rug. As she unrolled the rug, Helen was shocked to see a strange looking sword inside.

"Amy, what the hell is this?" Helen was puzzled at what Amy just bought into the house. "You know I don't like weapons in the house."

"Dammit, Helen, chill," said Amy. "It's not to use, it's for show. Plus, it's for Daria."

"Thanks, Aunt Amy," smirked the cynic, as she was about to pick up the sword, Helen blocked her way.

"No chance in hell is Daria going to touch that sword, and add it to the asylum she calls a room!" Helen snapped, as she turns to Amy. "Amy, as your sister, I want you to take that butcher knife of a sword and get your money back. My daughter is not going all Duncan McLeod on anyone."

"Helen, I have something to tell you about what I do," spoke Amy. "I'm an assassin. I was trained to fight a great evil that will consume the Earth, if I don't stop it."

Helen just laughs at this. "And I'm Walker, Texas Ranger."

"You are?" said Jake, but Helen gave him the glare to shut up.

"Helen, I'm serious about what I do," said Amy. "For years, I've been killing people, evil people that plan on taking over the world."

"Of course," Daria doing her impression of the late great Raul Julia's role as M. Bison from the cult live action Street Fighter II movie.

"Daria, quit being a cynic for a minute, this is serious," said Helen, as she turned back to Amy. "So, you think you're The Bride from Kill Bill Vol. 1& 2, Amy?"

"And I thought you were serious about this," replied Amy to Helen. "Sis, this is really serious. I need to train Daria to use the sword to battle The Insidious, and their master."

"WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!" A shocked Helen Barksdale Morgendorffer slapped Amy in the face. "Amy, stop talking bull crap! You're not an assassin, you're my little sister! So, SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Dammit, Helen, what can I prove to you in that thick skulled brain of yours that I'm telling the truth?" Snapped Amy back at her sister.

"Stop it, both of you," Daria went all referee at her mother and aunt, as she turned to her mom first. "Mom, I think Aunt Amy is telling the truth. I never seen her this serious before, since 9/11 hit America."

"Daria, I know you're right," said Helen calmly. "I need some time to think about this." Helen went upstairs to her bedroom, as the others stood there.

"So, Aunt Amy, when did you go all Elektra Natchios on us?" Daria spoke to her favorite aunt.

"It was about five years ago, when I went to a small village to…" as Amy was about to begin her story, Helen came slowly down the stairs bleeding of her own blood. She had been cut and stabbed, as she began to cry out tears of pain.

"MOM!" Quinn shouted and screamed, as she felt something sharp cut her throat. Quinn's head fell on the floor in the pool of her own blood.

"NO!" shrieked Amy, as she took her sword and began attacking the unknown attacker. "Jake, get Daria out of here and out of Lawndale!"

"But, Amy…" Jake began, but Amy grabbed him by his shirt collar.

"NOW, YOU DAMN IDIOT!" Amy slammed him into a wall, as he ran off with Daria to the SUV.

Amy could see her sister and niece's killers come out of the woodwork, as she began attacking them with her sword screaming in pain of the loss of two of her family members.

Outside, Jake and Daria got inside the SUV, as Jake began to start the car, but nothing happened.

"Damn piece of junk!" Jake snapped, as he got out of the SUV to see what the problem is.

"Dad, wait," Daria spoke, but it was too late, as Jake was killed by a battalion of arrows from the roof of the house.

Daria screamed, as she saw Amy crash out of the front window of the house, and ran to the SUV.

"Drive, Daria, drive!" Amy shouted, as Daria finally got the car started, as they drove fast to hit some ninja like assassins on the way.

"What the f…" Daria spoke.

"Shut up and drive, Daria," said Amy. "I need some time to think." The SUV drove off, as the two females watched on at their house began to burn down.

# # #

Axel looked on at the burning house that was once owned by the Morgendoffer family go down in flames, as the assassin took out his cell phone.

"Barksdale and her niece got away, master," spoke Axel to someone the other side of the phone. "Time for phase 2"

# # #

A/N: I kind of wanted a Daria story set outside her usual universe, but add a mix of samurai and anime action into the mix. This is my first in my Daria Blade trilogy, as I plan a trade collection of the whole saga by the end of the year or less. Yes, other Daria characters will be in the trilogy, including two certain brain dead slackers. This series will take me the rest of the year to complete, so enjoy my first Daria epic event.


End file.
